I was able to attend the SW Education Forum this evening - it was my first opportunity to be involved in this group although i've been following emails/posts from afar. Diane Watkins did a great job in offering some structure to the meeting and allowing an opportunity for all voices to be heard.

I made a strong comment/plea that we refrain from using the words "dysfunctional families" when characterizing some of the challenges that we have in our community. I find the term pejorative, judgmental and completely unhelpful and I have removed the words from my Social Work vocabulary! The reason for this is simple: none of us comes from a fully functional family. All families have struggles, challenges, issues, etc but all families also have strengths, possibilities, hidden talents, etc. 

Most challenges are overcome by focusing on people's strengths and building on what's "right" vs what is missing.

If we want parents to become more involved in their children's educational, emotional and social development we need to find ways to invite more parents, families to the table and I can guarantee that nobody will come to the table if they hear that their family is referred to as "dysfunctional".

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Margy - Thanks for this very clear message.  Very enlightening and helpful.

Another phrase I've been asked to look at is when I say that I am "empowering" someone.  It suggests that I have the power and I'm giving it to someone else.  New models (Family Independence Initiative, Boston Rising, etc.) are unwavering in co-creating environments that are built on strengths and capacities.  

Thanks for speaking up on this...all a part of much-needed consciousness raising.

The issue at hand is that there is a higher level of challenging family backgrounds in RCSD families than there are in suburban districts and private schools.  This is not to say that there are not any issues with families in the burbs and private schools (because obviously there are), and it is not to say that all RCSD families are hot messes (because there are many RCSD families that strongly support their kids and all families have strengths).  The issue is that the RCSD faces more challenges, and this makes it more difficult (and expensive) for RCSD schools to attain the test scores and graduation rates that we see in other schools.

We have to be honest about this, and we have to be realistic.  We cannot improve our schools by putting all the blame on teachers and the RCSD administration.  We can't say that we are going to hold the RCSD "accountable" (which is pejorative, judgmental and completely unhelpful) for things that are beyond their control while we fail to hold students and families accountable.  Even the "best" students in the "best" schools need to held accountable for their behavior.  All families need to understand that they have responsibilities that include getting their kids to school on time, reading to their kids, reviewing homework, working with the teachers, etc.

 

Challenging family backgrounds are everywhere and some are more obvious/apparent than others. I have not heard anyone (in this forum or in reading recent meeting minutes) say that RCSD is fully accountable for the education of our children and i didn't hear people blaming the RCSD. Education requires a commitment from many parties - teachers, students, parents, family members, community members, etc. The situation with the RCSD is complex and certainly inter-related to other issues we have in the City of Rochester including violence, concentrated poverty, generational poverty and unemployment to name just a few.

In terms of family responsibilities (i.e. getting kids to school on time, reading, reviewing homework, etc) - I agree that those are all really important components of successful child education. They are also difficult to achieve when we have parents who don't know how to read and/or don't understand their children's homework due to their own lack of education..... those same parents may be unlikely to reach out to their children's teachers because they are embarrassed, ashamed, feel judged, etc....

My mother read to me, went to parent-teacher events, volunteered as a "band booster", etc.  My father dropped out of school after the 8th grade;  his father figured that was enough education and he should get a job to help support the family.   They both worked full time.  My parents valued education and made sure I did too.

I guess my point is that it's difficult for someone like me to relate to the family situations you've described above, and your clear language and examples are very helpful.

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